[AMY SAYS] EP#460 – Understanding Trauma + the Subconscious Mind

[AMY SAYS] EP#460 – Understanding Trauma + the Subconscious Mind

Iwish I had a dollar for every time someone told me something that happened in their childhood that cleeeeearly still affects them and then they say something like, “But, I’m totally over it though. It’s not that big of a deal.” Sure, sure it’s not. I would have, like, so many dollars. Here’s the deal: We never root for our trauma. We never really like the idea that something damaging happened to us in our youth. Or that we still carry around some disempowering beliefs bestowed to us by our primary caregivers. It’s much easier to dismiss the pain and say everything is just fine. Nothing to see here! Look away!

The problem is that we are ALL affected by the things that happen to us in our childhood. And the subconscious part of our brain keeps tally of all of it. But just like the moniker implies, it’s all running beneath our consciousness. Ever wonder why you constantly feel the need to please others even though you know it’s impeding your work or your relationships? It’s likely you developed a positive association with people-pleasing early in your life and now it’s embedded in the subconscious part of your mind. 

In this episode, I dig into the way our conscious and subconscious minds work and how they relate to the various traumas we experience. I also discuss the biggest fallacy about trauma that most folks still believe to be true and I share my favorite journaling tool to start unpacking how certain instances from your childhood crafted your current reality. Get ready to have a deeper understanding about how the subconscious works and how you can take some powerful steps toward healing. 

This pod explores:

  • How to put the inner critic, or “subconscious guard dog” to sleep, so you can change your deep-seated beliefs
  • Three types of trauma and why it’s more important how an incident affected you rather than the incident itself
  • My favorite journal exercise to uncover how certain instances from your childhood are currently impacting you
  • What support looks like for dealing with familial trauma

 

APPLICATIONS NOW OPEN!

IT’S TIME TO BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

It’s time to stop talking constant shit to yourself. It’s time to stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks of you. It’s time to let go of that death grip on perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing. After all, how has all that shit been working? That’s what I thought.

Let’s kick that shit to the curb, shall we? Doors are now open for an exclusive, group-coaching immersion that will teach you the skills to access some serious “enoughness,” start believing in yourself, and speak up for yourself like a bold, boundaried badass. Oh, and this 9-month, deep-dive includes a 5-day, luxury retreat! Hello!

Want in? Of course, you do. Clickety click RIGHT HERE or click the fancy image to get the invitation and apply for WORTHY. so we can get shit handled!

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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[AMY SAYS] EP#459 – The Connection Between Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Feeling Stuck + What to Do About It

[AMY SAYS] EP#459 – The Connection Between Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Feeling Stuck + What to Do About It

Iused to flippantly refer to myself as a Perfectionist and oftentimes I would elude to it being somewhat of a badge of honor. As I got older and my anxiety increased, I realized that being a chronic perfectionist was actually STEALING my joy instead of making my job easier. But, how does one just stop being a perfectionist?

Perhaps you find yourself in the same boat; Vacillating between being SOLD on the idea that everything has to be just perfect and the conflicting desire to let things “go with the flow” or just be “good enough”. If you’ve found yourself in this dance, you are most certainly not alone. In this week’s episode, I break down just how detrimental the strive for perfection can be and how it often leads to much suffering, frustration, and angst.

Additionally, I dig into 5, easy-to-implement steps you can take to begin allowing room for your humanity without sacrificing excellence and how you can maintain your integrity AND your sanity.

This pod explores:

  • Why “Perfect” doesn’t really exist and how the pursuit of perfection can be #supes detrimental
  • How to figure out the personal “Rules” you’ve established for yourself that have locked you into perfectionism
  • My favorite tool to catch and re-route your perfectionism in the moment (without overthinking it to death)
  • How to allow room for excellence and integrity in what you do, without the “pressure of perfect”

 

APPLICATIONS OPEN SEPTEMBER 8TH!

IT’S TIME TO BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

It’s time to stop talking constant shit to yourself. It’s time to stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks of you. It’s time to let go of that death grip on perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing. After all, how has all that shit been working? That’s what I thought.

Let’s kick that shit to the curb, shall we? I’m about to open the doors for an exclusive, group-coaching immersion that will teach you the skills to access some serious “enoughness,” start believing in yourself, and speak up for yourself like a bold, boundaried badass. Oh, and this 9-month, deep-dive includes a 5-day, luxury retreat! Hello!

Want in? Of course you do. Clickety click RIGHT HERE or click the fancy image to get on the VIP list and be the first to be notified when the application window is open for WORTHY.

_______

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at trylgc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#458 – What to Do When You Feel Stuck as Fuck with Britt Frank

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#458 – What to Do When You Feel Stuck as Fuck with Britt Frank

So, you’re stuck. Not moving. Not taking much action. 
You know all the things you should be doing to get where you wanna go, yet you don’t actually do it. 
Or maybe you have no idea what you want to do and that is leaving you feeling stuck as fuck. (Side note: I feel like there should be a glue or tape company called “Stuck as Fuck”)

And, it’s likely if you’re feeling stuck, there are a shit-ton of other things you may be feeling too. Maybe you feel some fear about starting a new career path. Maybe you feel overwhelmed from your current roles as partner, parent, employee, friend, etc. Maybe you feel anxious about getting back in the dating scene. And, then your behaviors follow suit. You’re scared to switch careers, so you procrastinate. You’re overwhelmed in your current roles, but you still people-please, adding to your overwhelm. You’re anxious about dating, so you obsess over being perfect before posting your online profile. Stuck af, rinse, repeat.

Gah! So, what is one to do? This week on the show, I dial up my pal Britt Frank, a psychotherapist and trauma specialist who recently penned an amazing book entitled, The Science of Stuck. Add to cart, amiright!? In this uber-packed interview we discuss all the “parts” that make up our personality (aka when your inner child throws a tantrum), how anxiety is not something that “attacks” you but is actually a message about your safety, and Britt’s fav 5-minute challenge to help you bust through your stuckness. Get ready to wear a hole in this episode, because it’s a good one. 

This pod explores:

  • The difference between anxiety, fear, and worry and how to work with each of them
  • Understanding “Emotional Regression” – aka When you immediately revert back to being 16 when you’re around your Mom
  • Understanding what is really happening when you’re procrastinating and why that may be exactly what you need to be doing
  • How Britt’s phobia of sponges (yes, like, kitchen sponges) was related to unresolved sexual trauma and what she did to heal

 

GET ON THE VIP LIST!

IT’S TIME TO BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

It’s time to stop talking constant shit to yourself. It’s time to stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks of you. It’s time to let go of that death grip on perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing. After all, how has all that shit been working? That’s what I thought.

Let’s kick that shit to the curb, shall we? I’m about to open the doors for an exclusive, group-coaching immersion that will teach you the skills to access some serious “enoughness,” start believing in yourself, and speak up for yourself like a bold, boundaried badass. Oh, and this 9-month, deep-dive includes a 5-day, luxury retreat! Hello!

Want in? Of course, you do. Clickety click RIGHT HERE or click the fancy image to get on the VIP list and be the first to be notified when the application window is open for WORTHY.

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

______

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

______

THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT ‘ GUESTIE

Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a clinician, educator and trauma specialist. She speaks and writes widely about the mental health myths that keep us stuck and stressed. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 trained in the Internal Family Systems therapeutic model. Her first book The Science of Stuck was released March 2022 and is available now.

Grab her book on Amazon and/or connect with her on Insta.

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[AMY SAYS] EP#457 – 10 Things to Do When You Feel Stuck

[AMY SAYS] EP#457 – 10 Things to Do When You Feel Stuck

Recently a listener wrote into the show, asking what to do when you find yourself feeling stuck. You know that racket, no? Stuck in a relationship… stuck in a soul-sucking job… stuck in a friendship that doesn’t serve you. The list goes on. Perhaps you know exactly what you want, but you feel stuck in taking any action. Or maybe you have no idea what you want and that is leaving you feeling stagnant and unmotivated.

Many times, when we feel “stuck”, we look outside ourselves for the magic answer instead of addressing things that are totally within our power. Without knowing it, we fall into patterns and habits that ultimately leave us feeling complacent and we forget to take action on the things that we already know bring us joy. Like, getting back to that knitting project you loved. Or picking up your guitar again. Whatever… you get the picture.

In this episode, I dig into ten different strategies and questions you can ask yourself to break out of your stuck-ness in order to create much more happiness and fulfillment. You may actually be super surprised how easy it can be!

This pod explores:

  • What to say to yourself instead of “I don’t know how to…”
  • How to break up the monotony of your habits and switch shit up, creating much more momentum and movement
  • How to clear out the clutter in your world that is unknowingly keeping you stuck-as-fuck
  • Why you must create a plan if you want to change your current situation

 

GET ON THE VIP LIST!

IT’S TIME TO BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

It’s time to stop talking constant shit to yourself. It’s time to stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks of you. It’s time to let go of that death grip on perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing. After all, how has all that shit been working? That’s what I thought.

Let’s kick that shit to the curb, shall we? I’m about to open the doors for an exclusive, group-coaching immersion that will teach you the skills to access some serious “enoughness,” start believing in yourself, and speak up for yourself like a bold, boundaried badass. Oh, and this 9-month, deep-dive includes a 5-day, luxury retreat! Hello!

Want in? Of course you do. Clickety click RIGHT HERE or click the fancy image to get on the VIP list and be the first to be notified when the application window is open for WORTHY.

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at trylgc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

_____

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

___

How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#456 – Dealing with Unexpected Life Curveballs with Michelle Ward

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#456 – Dealing with Unexpected Life Curveballs with Michelle Ward

If you’re anything like me, you probably love having a nice plan for your life… Some nice stability, order, structure… some might even say you’ve got a tight grip on control. [guilty face] I know that space quite well. But, what happens when your solidly formed plans get thwarted by something you could never have seen coming? How do you allow room for grief that your life is going in a totally different direction and still hold on to what matters most to you? How do you take care of yourself when you suddenly have to find a new home? Or recieve a scary diagnosis? Experience a death in the family? Learn your partner wants a divorce? 

My dear friend, Michelle Ward, knows a thing or two or twenty about dealing with massive life curveballs. In 2011, she was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer in the midst of fertility treatment for the child she and her husband were desperately trying to conceive. Not only was she dealing with the new realization that having a baby would not at all be as easy as they had planned, but now that dream had to come to a screeching halt as she navigated this life-altering diagnosis. And, the curveballs kept coming. After going into remission, she was diagnosed with breast cancer AGAIN. I mean… how do you not just shake your fists at the Universe like, “WTF, lady!?” 

In this week’s show, Michelle and I have a candid conversation about what it looks like to reckon with new information that sends your world into a tailspin. We discuss the strategies she employed to cope, who was (and was not) a good person to lean on, and what it was like working through grief that took many different forms. If you feel like you can’t catch a break, you’ll want to tune and find out how to focus on the things you CAN control, even if that list feels like it’s rapidly shrinking. And, believe me when I say, you are most certainly not alone.

This pod explores:

  • How Michelle wrote a bunch of songs on her ukulele to help her process her diagnosis and what you can do to process the curveballs you’re up against (One song was comically called “Everyone’s Your Friend When You Have Cancer”)
  • What to do when folks in your life think you’re done with your difficult chapter (ie. divorce is final, cancer in remission, etc.) and you are still racked with grief 
  • How to know who you can trust with your story and who to stay away from
  • Understanding that there will likely be moments when you need to take the low road just to survive

 

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

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I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

______

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT ‘ GUESTIE

Michelle Ward helps women launch their service-based business in just 90 days so they can be their own damn boss. You may have seen or heard her in New York Magazine, NY Post, The Huffington Post, Etsy, Newsweek, Freelancers Union, USA Today, the Forbes Top 100 Websites for your Career list, EO Fire, Real Talk Radio, The Unmistakable Creative or hundreds of other media outlets. She’s the teacher of Create Your Dream Career and Ditch Your Day Job, which were watched by tens of thousands of people on CreativeLive. When she’s not coaching, teaching or speaking, she can be found watching her daughter play hockey, sitcom-binging with her husband, or belting out show tunes.

Register for the free training at 90daybusinesslaunch.com/training and/or connect with her on Insta

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[AMY SAYS] EP#455 – 6 Ways to Powerfully Navigate Transition

[AMY SAYS] EP#455 – 6 Ways to Powerfully Navigate Transition

Losing a job. Getting a tough diagnosis. Kids moving out of the house. Starting a business. Becoming a parent. All of these are examples of life transitions that can completely sideswipe us with emotion. Sometimes you intentionally plan for a transition, like moving to another country or changing careers, and other times, you may get forced into a life pivot out of nowhere leaving you floundering and reeling.

What is it about transition that makes it so difficult? Why is it that you still feel grief and sadness leaving a job when you’re starting a new business and are really excited for the opportunity? How can you keep your mind from spinning and “what-if-ing” all damn day? Even though life transitions are incredibly common, it seems no one has penned a nice instruction manual for how-the-hell to deal with such a situation. 

In this week’s episode, I look at six, specific tactics you can take to better address a transitional period you may be going through. We’ll look at the role of grief (and what that really means), how change can affect your personal sense of identity, and how to find your core comforts and support systems during this uncertain time. If you have been feeling wobbly about all of your current “unknowns”, you’ll find many tidbits of wisdom in this episode to help you process this journey much more powerfully.

This pod explores:

  • My favorite two thought reframes to aid you if life handed you a curveball
  • How to figure out who you *are* outside of your immediate circumstances
  • The best tactic to immediately bring yourself comfort during an uncertain time
  • Knowing who (and who NOT) to share your process with as you navigate your transition

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at trylgc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

_____

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

___

How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#454 – Major Life Transitions, Pivots, and Grief with Deb Cummins Stellato

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#454 – Major Life Transitions, Pivots, and Grief with Deb Cummins Stellato

Dealing with a major life transition can be one of the most emotionally taxing and exhausting things we go through as humans. Not to mention that our society doesn’t look fondly on processing emotion and expects you to “put on a happy face” because “the show must go on”. Sometimes we’re working through an intentional life transition, like choosing to start your own business, and other times we get nailed with a life pivot out of nowhere. As in, your partner abruptly leaves the relationship, or you’re dealing with a devastating diagnosis or processing the death of a loved one.

No matter where you fall on the “pivot continuum”, it is likely that you will have a slew of emotions to navigate. So, where do you start? Is there a rubric or framework to follow? Some box you can check that states “You have successfully navigated this transition”? Hardly. This week on the show, I dial up Deb Cummins Stellato, a life and leadership coach who supports successful women seeking the courage to make pivots.

In this juicy conversation, Deb and I look at the role courage plays in all our life transitions whether you are pivoting to a new job or dealing with a traumatic illness. We discuss the major characteristics of thinking courageously, and the steps you can take to set yourself up for success if you’re processing a life pivot. We look at creating a safe community for yourself, leaning into accepting help (gah!), and what it means to listen to your intuition. 

This pod explores:

  • The major characteristics of women who think courageously as they deal with life pivots
  • The difference between navigating an intentional transition (Ie. choosing to leave a job) versus dealing with a major life curveball (Ie. a sudden death or diagnosis)
  • Deb’s definition of a life pivot and understanding where you may fall on the continuum
  • Deb’s favorite vocabulary tool to switch up how you’ve been viewing your current transition

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

______

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT ‘ GUESTIE

Deb is a certified life and leadership coach who supports successful women seeking the courage to make pivots. Cultivator of Communities, Deb facilitates courageous conversations with women through group coaching and online communities. She is the host of The Think Courageously Podcast and as a podcaster, she has interviewed over 100 women on what it means to redefine success, courage and pivots. In April 0f 2022, Deb became an Amazon Best-Selling author with 14 other women in the book Elevate Your Voice. Her chapter focuses on her 364-day grief journey and is entitled “Living and Grieving with Courage”.

Learn more about Deb and her organization Think Good Company.

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How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
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[AMY SAYS] EP#453 – Keeping Love Alive – A Peek Inside Our Relationship – Part 2

[AMY SAYS] EP#453 – Keeping Love Alive – A Peek Inside Our Relationship – Part 2

Ever wonder what it really takes to maintain happiness in a long-term relationship? I mean… don’t passions just naturally fizzle and fade for every couple? Aren’t happy couples just for fairy tales and movie magic?

Think about it… It’s HIGHLY likely you know very few couples who have been together for a long period of time who actually still really like each other. I believe there is a reason for that. For many of us, there has never been a handy manual on how-the-hell to communicate, get your needs met, or work on vulnerability. Amiright? Most of what we learn is from whatever example we received from our parents (ugh!), our media, or our life experience which often leave us floundering inside relationships wondering what-the-hell our problem is

Bottom line: It’s totally possible to have a long-term, happy relationship. You just need to know HOW. It’s likely you’ve simply never been taught. In this episode (part 2 of 2), Mr. Smith and I dig into 4 more components we’ve employed in our marriage to keep us connected, thriving, and happy. And guess what? It’s not rocket science, only for the “lucky” ones, or involving tons of time and money. Chances are you can do things TODAY that can radically change the dynamic of your relationship.

This pod explores:

  • How those walls you have built up are doing nothing for your intimacy
  • What it really looks like to communicate effectively with your partner
  • How we (Mr. Smith and I) have unconventionally approached the management of our household and why it creates so much harmony for us
  • How to create shared meaning through traditions and rituals

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I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at trylgc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
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[AMY SAYS] EP#452 – Keeping Love Alive – A Peek Inside Our Relationship – Part 1

[AMY SAYS] EP#452 – Keeping Love Alive – A Peek Inside Our Relationship – Part 1

Ever wonder what it really takes to keep love alive long-term? Ever see happy couples and wonder what-the-hell their secret is? (I mean… Considering you’re ready to strangle your spouse… ).

In the twenty-five years we’ve been together, Mr. Smith and I have consistently and repeatedly been asked what our secrets are to not only a long-term marriage but a happy one. Plenty of people stay together, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that they aren’t all that happy… maybe just okay… and sometimes flat-out miserable.

So, what does it really take to keep love alive and FUN over multiple decades? Well, you’re in luck. In this episode (which is part 1 of 2), Mr. Smith and I talk candidly and openly about four major factors that have kept our marriage strong, fun, and intimate. And, speaking of rocket science, many of our “secrets” aren’t all that hard… it’s just likely you’ve never been taught. Have a listen and you just may completely change the trajectory of your relationship.

This pod explores:

  • How to stop making your relationship feel like work (Ugh… don’t we already have enough work?)
  • What it means to grow as individuals AND as a couple and where you may be totally sabotaging your partner without knowing it
  • How to make sex important in your relationship… for reals
  • Why you need to speak to your partner like a lover instead of a business partner and our favorite tip to help you start doing so

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HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
  • Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account
  • Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title
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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#451 – Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Patterns + Making Marriage Work With Figs O’sullivan

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#451 – Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Patterns + Making Marriage Work With Figs O’sullivan

You and your partner are arguing about the same damn thing… yet again.
The same cycle. The same hurt. The same fights. The same pattern.
It feels like you’re banging your head against the wall trying to understand each other, yet you end up consistently feeling lonely, frustrated, and unheard. And maybe you feel like you couldn’t be more clear with what you are desiring for the relationship, yet it seems like your partner looks at you like you’re speaking another language. WTF!?

The cycle of battling for who’s “right” and who is at fault is a typical cycle many couples fall into. You both double down on who’s right and in the meantime, the walls between you grow stronger and more solid. The solution is getting truly vulnerable about what is happening emotionally for each of you, but how-the-hell do you start being vulnerable with someone you clearly don’t feel emotionally safe with!? Spoiler: You don’t.

On this week’s show, I dial up Figs O’Sullivan, a Marriage and Family Therapist, who has spent years working with frustrated couples at a crossroads in their relationship. We discuss how attachment styles, formed from childhood, affect how we connect (or fail to connect) with our partner, why we can’t just barge into conversations demanding our needs, and the absolute first place you need to start if you want to make marked changes in your relationship.

This pod explores:

  • Understanding the 4 elements of a relationship system – a.k.a. the absolute FIRST thing couples need to understand before making any progress to heal their relationship
  • How to know if you are asking things from your partner from your Vulnerable Self or from your Reactive Self? [Spoiler: It’s usually your Reactive Self]
  • How your worst parts are always the doorways to your best parts (and your partner too!)
  • Why the issues you are arguing about with your partner aren’t the real problem… and how to figure out what they are

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at trylgc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

______

THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT’ GUESTIE

Fiachra “Figs” O’Sullivan, is the Founder and Chief Empathy Officer at Empathi, which provides step-by-step guidance for couples and individuals who care about their relationships. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who is certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and individuals, and a passionate entrepreneur, driven to change lives for the better. He strives to interact with the clients as fellow travelers on life’s journey, allowing them to easily dive deeper into their “stuff” with his down-to-earth philosophy.

Figs has spent years working with frustrated couples at a crossroads in their relationship; they want to make things work but are stuck in what Figs calls their “Waltz of Pain,” which led him to create Empathi! Inspired by attachment theory, improvisational dance and theatre, experiential psychotherapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy, Empathi provides fun, effective and simple solutions to help couples stop fighting and snuggle more.

Learn more about Empathi or connect with Figs on his personal therapy site.

_____

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

___

How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
  • Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account
  • Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title
  • Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button
  • You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes

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Want to Submit a Show Topic?

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