[AMY SAYS] EP#469 – 6 Ways to Deal with Grief During the Holidays

[AMY SAYS] EP#469 – 6 Ways to Deal with Grief During the Holidays

Ever feel like you just can’t quite enjoy the holidays because you’re in the middle of an emotional shitstorm that seems to make the season trying, stressful, and overwhelming? Maybe it’s your first holiday after being newly divorced. Or maybe it’s the fifth Christmas without your beloved mother, and you can’t seem to understand why it’s still so damn hard for you. Or perhaps you just moved your family across the country and although it was an amazing decision for you, you still find yourself incredibly nostalgic, overly emotional, and sensitive.

If any of that sounds familiar, it’s likely that there is something in your world that needs a little processing. (And, no, there’s nothing wrong with you.) Perhaps what’s tugging at you is the need for full-on grieving the loss of a loved one, which feels exacerbated by the sentimental tone of the holiday. Or perhaps it’s as simple as “a case of the blues” because you’ve changed jobs and aren’t able to do the gift exchange with your previous company you were with for ages.

Whatever you may be going through in your life, if you’ve created any changes in patterns, it’s likely there may be a bit (or a shit ton) of emotion to work through… especially during this time of year. Even if you don’t think grief is called for, have a listen through this episode where I share six things you can do to work through all the “feels” you’re having during this temperamental time. And, P.S. Dealing with your feels doesn’t mean you’re weak, too dramatic, or too sensitive. It just means you’re fucking human. And brave.

This pod explores:

  • The real reason why you might be drinking too much, eating too much, or spending too much during the season
  • The best way to set yourself up for success if you KNOW the holidays will make your current life circumstances extra tough
  • How to let go of the past in a powerful way and create a new, empowered meaning behind the season
  • Who you should (and should not) be turning to for support

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
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[AMY SAYS] EP#468 – How to *NOT* Lose Your Shit with Your Family this Holiday

[AMY SAYS] EP#468 – How to *NOT* Lose Your Shit with Your Family this Holiday

Ahhhhh, the holidays. The lovely time of year where your mom pesters you about why you don’t go to church anymore. Or your aunt gives you shit for not having kids or not being married. Or your uncle gets in a heated (uncomfortable) “discussion” about gun rights. Your favorite, amiright? Or perhaps you’re dreading the impending convo where your bro asks you for money. Again.

Even though the holidays are supposed to be merry and bright, they can often be the most stressful when it comes to dealing with our families. Enter years of baggage, a shit-ton of guilt, mix in some alcohol, and you have a family holiday that leaves you feeling like shit instead of connected with those you supposedly love the most. If this sounds any kind of familiar, all is not lost. And, believe it or not, you can totally take back your holiday experience, boundary your ass off, and consciously CHOOSE your focus this holiday. Even if your sister is an ass-hat.

This pod explores:

  • How to prepare for your family function ahead of time to set you up for success… even if your family is giving the circus a run for their money
  • What it *really* looks like to set up healthy boundaries and actually follow through on them
  • How to avoid (or end) uncomfortable conversations with the utmost grace
  • How to decide exactly what you want to focus on during the get-together… you know, so you can actually enjoy yourself #gladtidingsmuthafucka

____

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

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I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#467 – Confidence, Thought Work, and Dealing with Failure with Jane Atkinson

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#467 – Confidence, Thought Work, and Dealing with Failure with Jane Atkinson

Let’s say you want to go for a promotion at your work, but your inner voice keeps telling you that you’re an imposter. Who are you to go for this job? Or maybe you are thinking of starting your own business, but you know you’re lacking some serious confidence. Don’t you have to be super confident right off the bat to do something like that? Or maybe you tried going back to school but you failed your first test so you threw in the towel and haven’t been back since.

When we talk about personal development topics like confidence, imposter complex, or navigating failure, we often think there is one specific trick or tool that will magically imbue us with all the confidence we desire, get rid of all our self-doubt, or make us immune to hardship. You know… just shittin’ glitter over here. Sadly, that isn’t the case.

This week on the show I chat with my pal, Jane Atkinson, who shares a 5-part Thought Work Model which can help you bust through self-doubt, conjure some serious confidence, and contend with failure like a badass. If you have a hard time getting into an empowering mindset or tend to go down negative rabbit holes on tv or social media, you will definitely want to pull up an ear for this one.

This pod explores:

  • Jane’s two-prong approach to conjuring confidence… and how you’ve already proven to yourself that you can be courageous
  • Jane’s 24 hour “wallow rule” and how it can help you process your feelings around failure
  • The 5-step Thought Work Model Jane uses to keep her mindset in the right place
  • Understanding imposter complex and what to do about it

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wanna hang with me in Mexico?

oF COURSE, YOU DO! aPPLICATIONS NOW OPEN FOR MY MEXICO RETREAT!

Let’s go to Mexico, Baby!! Wanna hang out in real life? And learn how to establish boundaries and believe in your own worthiness? And connect with like-minded badasses who are dying to be in your corner? And eat amazing food in a #gorge paradise? Of course, you do!

APPLICATIONS NOW OPEN for my all-inclusive, IN-PERSON retreat held at a luxe, boutique resort in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico! But, act fast because space is extremely limited!

[I’M] ENOUGH ALREADY Retreat will teach you everything you need to know to finally feel ‘enough’, let go of your past (hello, forgiveness!), and gain some super-human self-confidence!

This retreat will rapidly sell out, so JUMP IN while you can! Go HERE or click that fancy image to secure your spot in paradise! Can’t wait to hug you #IRL!

___________________

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

_____

this week’s ‘dial an expert’ guestie

Jane Atkinson has been helping speakers catapult their careers for more than 30 years. She is the author of The Wealthy Speaker 3.0 (out this Fall), The Epic Keynote, The Wealthy Speaker Daily Success Planner and Journal, and Scaling Your Speaking Business.

Prior to coaching, Jane worked as an agent for several speakers whose careers skyrocketed. She also served as Vice President of a Speakers Bureau in Dallas where she represented several celebrities, best-selling authors and business experts.

Jane is the Founder of The Wealthy Speaker School which helps speakers build the businesses of their dreams through their course, community, masterminds and coaching.

Connect with Jane on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram.

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How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

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[AMY SAYS] EP#466 – 7 Ways to Amp Up Your Self-Confidence

[AMY SAYS] EP#466 – 7 Ways to Amp Up Your Self-Confidence

Ever see super confident people and wonder how-the-hell they became so sure of themselves? Ever wonder if they were just born that way or if someone taught them or if some life experience shaped them into that person who oozes confidence and self-assuredness? However they came to that state, you could sooo get in on that action, amiright?

In this episode, I dig into 7 super easy ways to build confidence immediately. You don’t have to read an entire book or become a totally self-help guru to learn how to place value on yourself… and it also doesn’t have to take decades. The tools presented in this episode will help you nail down what might be in the way of your self-confidence, identify what will kick your ass into gear, and snag some serious self-confidence in no time flat.

This pod explores:

  • Why “pride” is integral to your personal self-confidence and how to get you some
  • How to get a handle on your self-talk so your inner voice is more like a cheerleader instead of a bully
  • How your body posture completely affects your confidence
  • Why having an opinion builds confidence

________

wanna hang with me in Mexico?

oF COURSE, YOU DO! aPPLICATIONS NOW OPEN FOR MY MEXICO RETREAT!

Let’s go to Mexico, Baby!! Wanna hang out in real life? And learn how to establish boundaries and believe in your own worthiness? And connect with like-minded badasses who are dying to be in your corner? And eat amazing food in a #gorge paradise? Of course, you do!

APPLICATIONS NOW OPEN for my all-inclusive, IN-PERSON retreat held at a luxe, boutique resort in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico! But, act fast because space is extremely limited!

[I’M] ENOUGH ALREADY Retreat will teach you everything you need to know to finally feel ‘enough’, let go of your past (hello, forgiveness!), and gain some super-human self-confidence!

This retreat will rapidly sell out, so JUMP IN while you can! Go HERE or click that fancy image to secure your spot in paradise! Can’t wait to hug you #IRL!

___________________

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

_____

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
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[AMY SAYS] EP#465 – How to Know When to Quit a Goal + When to Persevere

[AMY SAYS] EP#465 – How to Know When to Quit a Goal + When to Persevere

You’ve been in the same industry for 20 years and you’re dying to make a change but you’re scared shitless to throw in the towel. Wouldn’t that mean you wasted two decades?

You’re not totally sure you’re getting your Master’s because it’s what YOU really want or if it’s because that’s what dad wants… or because it’s what a younger version of you wanted. Shit. What if you just don’t want that path any longer? Finish what you started? That’s what they say, right?

You’ve always wanted to pick up and move to a new country, but jesus, how stupid would it be to quit your six-fig job? But, you’re so damn good at what you do! And so many people would kill to be in your position. But, then again, Italy is calling…

If you’ve faced any of these harrowing decisions (or something similar) you know what it can feel like to toe the line of QUIT or PERSEVERE. I mean… how do you know if you should stick with something or if you should just quit while you’re (sort of) ahead?

In this episode, I cover off five (plus a bonus), specific tactics you can employ to make your decision faaaar easier. Plus, we already know what dad will say… But, with all due respect, it ain’t about Dad or your bestie or how much time or money you’ve invested. It’s time to get clear… for YOU. For your happiness. Your fulfillment.

This pod explores:

  • How to know why you feel compelled to stick with this “thing” and how to know if that’s a bullshit reason or not
  • How to figure out if you are disenchanted with your end goal OR the hard-working getting there
  • My favorite woo-woo, hippie tactic to help you access what you REALLY want
  • How to figure out what each of your options is costing you… and money isn’t the only currency, Babycakes!

________

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

_____

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

___

How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

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[AMY SAYS] EP#464 – The Obsession with Achievement + What to Do About It

[AMY SAYS] EP#464 – The Obsession with Achievement + What to Do About It

Most folks (maybe even you) who have a love affair with achievement and accomplishment, find that their tenacity and attachment to perfection has created a ton of significant success in their lives. Maybe they even wear the “over-achiever” label as a badge of honor. Sound like you? Maybe your constant striving and achieving has enabled you to succeed in school, your career, or in your community. But there can absolutely be a dark side to achievement. 

The obsession to achieve and be perfect at all costs can cause significant impediment to your happiness. How easy is it for you to simply rest, recharge, and do absolutely nothing? [gasp!] How often do you stand in judgment for others who prioritize fun and play over productivity? [shit!] How often do you really celebrate your accomplishments? Most overachievers have a hard time accepting compliments or acknowledging their successes because they are so focused on what’s next… What haven’t I accomplished? Where am I lacking or coming up short? You may also have a hellova time actually slowing down and resting. I mean… you should at least be folding laundry if you’re watching TV, right?

In this deep dive episode, I explore the handful of reasons why we are so seduced by overachieving (hello, ‘not enoughness!’), the ramifications of a death grip on achievement, and five things you can do to make sure your achievement is always in service of you rather than stealing your joy. Don’t worry… you don’t have to become a slacker or anything… we’re just going to explore when it’s healthy and when it isn’t. [whew!]

This pod explores:

  • The typical hustle cycle we get obsessed with and how it delays your happiness… like, forever
  • Understanding the ways achievement fulfills us and when it begins to steal our joy
  • How to create an identity that is bigger than your accomplishments (you are MORE than a series of checked boxes, I promise)
  • How marginalized communities are pressured to prove themselves which can sometimes result in an unhealthy relationship with achievement

________

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#463 – Releasing a Toxic Relationship to Achievement + Goal-setting with Tara McMullin

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#463 – Releasing a Toxic Relationship to Achievement + Goal-setting with Tara McMullin

Tell me if this sounds familiar: You get a Bachelor’s degree, but it doesn’t really feel like enough, so you apply for a Master’s program. You attain the Master’s but turns out, it doesn’t feel like enough either, so you start your own business. You set the goal to make six figures in your business, but when you achieve that marker, it somehow still doesn’t feel like enough. Maybe the key to happiness is to attain seven figures in your biz? Or maybe the goal should be to get married… or have a baby… or lose fifty pounds. So, you set up more lofty goals. Because, if you aren’t on a path toward attaining a big goal, what is your life even about? But, also, why haven’t any of these goals created happiness? Like, when-the-fuck is happiness going to show up?

Does that scenario sound like the strategy of achievement you’ve employed in your own life? Through societal influences, systems of oppression, and families of origin, we learn very early on that there are those who achieve (aka the GOOD folks) and there are those who don’t (aka the BAD folks… the lazy losers). And, in a culture that glorifies hustle, wears burnout like a badge of honor, and focuses on capitalism and productivity, it’s no wonder that so many of us collapse our entire sense of self-worth with what we accomplish. 

What we lose sight of while we strive, and strive, and strive, is… what actually brings us happiness and fulfillment. This week on the show, I dial up Tara McMullin, a writer, podcaster, and producer, who has spent the last 13 years studying what makes small business owners tick. She has recently written her first book entitled, What Works: A Comprehensive Framework To Change The Way We Approach Goal Setting. In this chat, Tara and I discuss the myriad of influences telling us what we’re “supposed to want” and what we “should” strive for and how to discern what is truly a desire of your heart. And, don’t worry, you don’t have to throw all your goals away… Tara simply invites you to think critically about why you want to attain them to begin with. 

This pod explore

  • How capitalism has a vested interest in keeping us unfulfilled
  • The origin of modern-day goal setting and how it can often steal your joy
  • The intersection between the self help community and goal setting and how it can sometimes cause you to move farther away from yourself 
  • How to use critical thinking to ensure your goals have your “informed consent”

____

LAST CALL TO APPLY FOR WORTHY.!

IT’S TIME TO BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

It’s time to stop talking constant shit to yourself. It’s time to stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks of you. It’s time to let go of that death grip on perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing. After all, how has all that shit been working? That’s what I thought.

Let’s kick that shit to the curb, shall we? I’m about to open the doors for an exclusive, group-coaching immersion that will teach you the skills to access some serious “enoughness,” start believing in yourself, and speak up for yourself like a bold, boundaried badass. Oh, and this 9-month, deep-dive includes a 5-day, luxury retreat! Hello!

Want in? Of course you do. Clickety click RIGHT HERE or click the fancy image to get the invitation and apply for WORTHY. so we can get shit handled.

_______

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

___

this week’s ‘dial an expert’ guestie

Tara McMullin is a writer, podcaster, and producer. For over 13 years, she’s studied small business owners—how they live, how they work, what influences them, and what they hope for the future. She’s the host of What Works, a podcast about navigating the 21st-century economy with your humanity intact. Tara is also co-founder of YellowHouse.Media, a boutique podcast production company. Her work has been featured in Fast Company, The Startup, The Muse, and The Huffington Post. Her first book, What Works: A Comprehensive Framework To Change The Way We Approach Goal Setting, will be released in November.

She lives in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania with her husband, daughter, and two lovable cats that showed up in the backyard one day. Her heart is always in the mountains of Montana.

________

How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
  • Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account
  • Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title
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[AMY SAYS] EP#462 – What to Do When Your Parent Kinda Sucks

[AMY SAYS] EP#462 – What to Do When Your Parent Kinda Sucks

Perhaps some of the most challenging relationships we have in our lives are those with our own parents. Although we love them deeply, they are oftentimes the ones who present the most “issues” in our worlds and who tend to drive us the most batty. You feel me? I’ve worked with many students and clients who have the hardest time figuring out if they should sever a relationship with a parent, try to work on it, try to establish boundaries, or just give up on the whole thing altogether.

Maybe you have found yourself tolerating shitty behavior from a parent because they had a horrible upbringing themselves or you’ve bought into the notion that “blood is thicker than water” so you let them get away with things you would never allow from someone you weren’t related to. We tend to emotionally regress around our parents which leaves us feeling inadequate, cowardly, and helpless.

This sort of parental frustration is suuuuuper common and I’m sure you’re no stranger to a similar dynamic. In this episode, I offer seven concepts to help you address a parent who is actually kind of an asshole and/or you aren’t fully sure you want in your life any longer. Unless you have a super flawless relationship with your parents (and if you do, bless you, and go thank them RIGHT NOW), then this pod is a MUST. Plus, many of these concepts can be applied to other challenging relationships in your life.

This pod explores:

  • Understanding the multiple emotions you have around your parents and why that’s okay
  • How to figure out the role you want a less-than-stellar parent to have in your life
  • What to say if other family members want to get involved and ask you about the issue
  • How to figure out exactly what you need from your parent and how to ask for it (and when not to)

 

APPLICATIONS NOW OPEN!

IT’S TIME TO BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

It’s time to stop talking constant shit to yourself. It’s time to stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks of you. It’s time to let go of that death grip on perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing. After all, how has all that shit been working? That’s what I thought.

Let’s kick that shit to the curb, shall we? Doors are now open for an exclusive, group-coaching immersion that will teach you the skills to access some serious “enoughness,” start believing in yourself, and speak up for yourself like a bold, boundaried badass. Oh, and this 9-month, deep-dive includes a 5-day, luxury retreat! Hello!

Want in? Of course, you do. Clickety click RIGHT HERE or click the fancy image to get the invitation and apply for WORTHY. so we can get shit handled!

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

______

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

____

How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
  • Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account
  • Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title
  • Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button
  • You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes

______

Want to Submit a Show Topic?

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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#461 – Dealing with Parental Trauma with Alexa Rae Schiefer

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#461 – Dealing with Parental Trauma with Alexa Rae Schiefer

We’ve all heard of our inner child, right? That wounded inner child who is still reckoning with incidents occurring in our childhood. But, have you ever heard of your “outer child”? Tell me if this sounds familiar: You are going back home to visit your family and the minute you get around your parents, it’s like you’re 16 all over again. You’re angsty, everything is unfair, and you just want to burn incense and listen to music, yet hanging out with your fam makes you want to lash out and yell and scream and maybe break a lava lamp. And suddenly all of the coping mechanisms you’ve learned in decades of therapy are out the window. This, my friend, is your Outer Child. It’s a way in which we regress to earlier versions of ourselves and act out from that place when surrounded by triggering people. And, let’s face it, it’s often our family.

In this week’s episode, I dial up Alexa Rae Schiefer, Trauma Coach and former mental health clinician, to ask her some heavy-hitting questions around the trauma we incur from our primary caregivers. We dig into the concept of “Parentification Trauma”, the inner and outer child, what trauma responses tend to look like, and what the hell a Window of Tolerance is and why we should be aware of it.

Alexa Rae and I also discuss what it means to self-soothe and how that process can vary depending on what trauma you are up against. We chat about processing the trauma of our childhoods and how, more often than not, we are trying to pretend we don’t have any trauma. Yeah, ok. How’s that working out? We even talk about what-the-hell trauma even is. If you know you’ve got a wound, or two, or twenty, to process from your childhood, be sure to grab a pen and paper. This is a good one. 

This pod explores:

  • The definition of trauma and how we all pretty much have it
  • Understanding Parentification Trauma and how that influences your behavior later on in life
  • What common trauma responses look like and what you can do about them
  • Understanding Abandonment Wounds and how they show up in our lives

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this week’s ‘dial an expert’ guestie:

Alexa Rae (she/her) is known online as the “Authenticity Healer” and woman who decided to shake up the healing game in mental health. Her full first name is Alexa Rae and she used to go by Alexa until Amazon stole her name. Now she goes by “Alexa Rae” or “A. Rae” for short. She is living her purpose on earth to help as many women as possible connect to their authentic selves. She is renowned for her ability to deeply connect with women, help them see their worth, and for being a down-to-earth healer.

In her former life, Alexa Rae was a professional mental health clinician who worked in a variety of areas – acute mental health, trauma, forensics, eating disorders, adolescents, education, and more. She left this realm as she struggled working in a field full of gaps in healing and wanted to shake up the mental health game. Since quitting her career to follow her purpose, she has gone on to help hundreds of women reconnect with who they are meant to be on this planet and heal the relationship with themselves and their bodies.

Alexa Rae has traveled the country speaking to women at various events, is a part-time professor in a mental health and substance use graduate program where she educates the up and coming clinicians to approach mental health differently, and runs a podcast called “Authentically You.”

Grab Alexa’s “Get Out of Your Own Dang Way” free email series.

Visit Alexa’s website for healing programs, courses, and resources. 

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[AMY SAYS] EP#460 – Understanding Trauma + the Subconscious Mind

[AMY SAYS] EP#460 – Understanding Trauma + the Subconscious Mind

Iwish I had a dollar for every time someone told me something that happened in their childhood that cleeeeearly still affects them and then they say something like, “But, I’m totally over it though. It’s not that big of a deal.” Sure, sure it’s not. I would have, like, so many dollars. Here’s the deal: We never root for our trauma. We never really like the idea that something damaging happened to us in our youth. Or that we still carry around some disempowering beliefs bestowed to us by our primary caregivers. It’s much easier to dismiss the pain and say everything is just fine. Nothing to see here! Look away!

The problem is that we are ALL affected by the things that happen to us in our childhood. And the subconscious part of our brain keeps tally of all of it. But just like the moniker implies, it’s all running beneath our consciousness. Ever wonder why you constantly feel the need to please others even though you know it’s impeding your work or your relationships? It’s likely you developed a positive association with people-pleasing early in your life and now it’s embedded in the subconscious part of your mind. 

In this episode, I dig into the way our conscious and subconscious minds work and how they relate to the various traumas we experience. I also discuss the biggest fallacy about trauma that most folks still believe to be true and I share my favorite journaling tool to start unpacking how certain instances from your childhood crafted your current reality. Get ready to have a deeper understanding about how the subconscious works and how you can take some powerful steps toward healing. 

This pod explores:

  • How to put the inner critic, or “subconscious guard dog” to sleep, so you can change your deep-seated beliefs
  • Three types of trauma and why it’s more important how an incident affected you rather than the incident itself
  • My favorite journal exercise to uncover how certain instances from your childhood are currently impacting you
  • What support looks like for dealing with familial trauma

 

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HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

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I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

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