[AMY SAYS] EP#450 – When *NOT* to Speak Up + When Grace + Kindness Don’t Work

[AMY SAYS] EP#450 – When *NOT* to Speak Up + When Grace + Kindness Don’t Work

If you’ve hung around these parts for a while, you’ll know that one of the cornerstones of my philosophy is that you can deliver damn-near any sort of information (no matter how difficult) to another person as long as you handle yourself with grace and kindness. I talk much about speaking up for yourself, saying “no”, establishing boundaries and kicking people-pleasing to the curb.

But, are there ever any instances when people-pleasing may actually save your ass? Yes, actually there are. Believe it or not, there are a handful of instances when speaking up for yourself is actually not the best tactic. Whaaaaa!? I know. It seems like that couldn’t possibly be the case, but just like all things in personal development, there are often no absolutes.

And what about those instances when grace and kindness don’t work? What if you’ve been boundary-ing your ass off to no avail? What if you reeeeeally want to just lose your shit on someone? Like, really just let them have it. Perhaps your ex… Maybe a dead-beat parent… Is there ever a time when speaking from anger is justified? Or the best choice even? One listener wrote to the show with this exact quandary so in this episode I share tips on *not* speaking up for yourself, kicking politeness to the curb, and what to do when grace and kindness just don’t work. 

This pod explores:

  • How to know if you’ve really given “grace + kindness” the good college try
  • The number one priority you need to evaluate when deciding if you should speak up or not
  • The three scenarios you likely want to avoid where speaking up may get you in deep shit 
  • My personal story of dealing with a family member who outright ignored my boundary… and what I did about it

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#449 – Healthy Boundaries for Kind People with Randi Buckley

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#449 – Healthy Boundaries for Kind People with Randi Buckley

Tell me if any of this sounds familiar: You are super bothered by something your co-worker has been doing, but instead of addressing it, you come home and recant to your partner what your shitty co-worker did at work today. Or maybe your mom does something that drives you absolutely bat-shit, but you’d rather tell your bestie about it instead of addressing it with your mom directly.

If you’ve fallen into any of these patterns or something similar, you are in great (and vast) company. No one ever teaches us how to identify our needs, let alone express them in a thoughtful and kind way. So, we buy into bullshit society idioms that tell us it’s about “not rocking the boat”, “sweeping it under the rug”, or “not opening up a can of worms”; All of which are code for, shut the fuck up and take care of everyone else’s emotions. Yikes. No wonder we have a difficult time speaking up.

If you’ve hung out with me for any length of time, it’s likely you’ve heard me sound off on boundaries, speaking up, and advocating for yourself. I thought it might be a nice breath of fresh air to bring on another boundary expert to get a different perspective. This week I dialed up Randi Buckley who is the creator of Healthy Boundaries for Kind People and got her take on what a boundary actually is (and is not), why context is crucial in establishing boundaries, and how boundary setting can go a bit awry (and what to do instead). 

This pod explores:

  • Why every boundary is different and how to work with Randi’s Holy Trinity of boundary setting
  • How we often opt for long-term regret instead of the short-term discomfort of speaking up for ourselves
  • How People-Pleasing undermines your kindness (and is super disingenuous)
  • Understanding the difference between nice and kindness and why there is room for both

 

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
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THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT’ GUESTIE

Randi Buckley is an internationally-sought coach, author, and mentor, whose work helps folks find their truth and be at peace with it. She is the creator of Healthy Boundaries for Kind People, Maybe Baby, and The Deep, and Associate Dean at Skogfjorden, the Norwegian Language Villages. Her past includes coaching at Fortune Five companies, royals making exits, body doubling for Penelope Cruz, hot tubbing with the Grateful Dead, and other true stories people aren’t sure they believe, along with a strong background in counseling and ethics. In her free time she untangles whales from fishing gear in Monterey Bay. Randi does not believe in writing in third person but is doing so anyway. 

You can say howdy at www.randibuckley.com or saddle up on Instagram: www.instagram.com/randi.buckley

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[AMY SAYS] EP#448 – Boundary Deep Dive, Part 2

[AMY SAYS] EP#448 – Boundary Deep Dive, Part 2

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you have undoubtedly heard the notion of “setting boundaries”, but have you ever wondered exactly what that means? Or maybe you drummed up the nerve to tell someone (like, your mom, boss, or bestie) how you really felt about something only to be blatantly ignored? (Or worse… not even taken seriously.)

How do you actually go about establishing boundaries that are clear, respected, and adhered to? It’s hard enough to broach a challenging topic with someone, let alone follow through on your boundary

Here’s the deal… if you’ve been constantly bitchin’ and moanin’ about something, and you’ve been super vocal about it to everyone, except the person who really needs to know you’re (ah-hem) “upset”, then it’s probably time to have a tough convo. In this week’s episode, Part 2 of 2, I finish sharing my three-step process to establishing boundaries in a way in which you can be heard and own your personal power.

This pod explores:

  • What-the-hell a boundary even is
  • The tell-tale place to find where a boundary is sorely needed
  • My three-step process to having these challenging convos
  • What to do if someone flat-out doesn’t accept your request

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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[AMY SAYS] EP#447 – Boundary Deep Dive, Part 1

[AMY SAYS] EP#447 – Boundary Deep Dive, Part 1

If you’ve hung around these parts for awhile, you know that I love to GO OFF about how to establish and enforce a boundary. Of course, this is super helpful when you have a solid understanding of your boundaries, but what’s one to do if you have no fucking clue what your boundaries even are!? I mean… how do you even figure that out? Where to start?

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering the same thing, you certainly are not alone. Recently a PODiance member reached out to me with this exact conundrum. If you’ve heard this personal development buzzword floating around, but you’ve felt a little lost on how to apply it to your world, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I explore 5 places you can look to figure out what your boundaries actually are, where you may need to speak up for yourself, and how to honor what feels right for you. Part 1 of 2, I also begin breaking down my 3-part process to communicating a boundary. Look out for next week’s episode as I finish off the 3-part system.

If you identify as a (recovering) people-pleaser or just care waaaaay too much about what others think, you’ll want to grab a notebook and pen and dig into this episode. Get ready to take a fierce stand for what matters most in your world and usher in some serious personal power.

This pod explores:

  • The hidden boundary that may be present when you’re complaining, bitchin’, and moanin’
  • My favorite go-to mantra to keep me in integrity and speaking up when it matters most
  • Identifying boundaries that may be covered up by verbal abuse
  • The boundary that needs to be established when someone writes you off, dismisses you or tells you you’re being “too sensitive” (Ugh!)

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I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

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EP#446 – [DIAL AN EXPERT] Leaving Religion, Coming Out as Queer, + Dealing with Family with Kara Barr

EP#446 – [DIAL AN EXPERT] Leaving Religion, Coming Out as Queer, + Dealing with Family with Kara Barr

Our Spiritual Self is perhaps one of the most sacred and precious pieces of our personal identity. Yet, so many of us have had the ideas, concepts, and beliefs of our families of origin impressed upon us without much room for questioning or critical thinking. And if one dares to question the ideology, they are often met with severe shame and chastisement. I have met so many folks who are beginning to untangle what they truly believe and how that differs from the way they were raised. And some of these folks, such as myself, have learned that a crucial piece of their identity is being a part of the queer community, something that isn’t often affirmed in extreme religious households.

So, where does that leave a truth seeker who deeply cares about being a better human, growing and developing, honoring their sexual or gender orientation and still wants to maintain some kind of relationship with family. I can certainly attest to how difficult it can be to connect with loved ones when you have diametrically opposed viewpoints on what’s “right” and what is morally sacrosanct.

This week I chat with Kara Barr, the “Unshakable Queer Coach” who specifically works with ex-evangelicals looking to own their coming out story. She helps individuals maintain their own sacred identity and spirituality while learning how to engage with families finding fault with those decisions. We talk about our own experiences as queer women leaving family faith traditions, the messages women receive about taking care of everyone else’s emotions, and where trauma ends up in the mix. It is my sincere hope that our stories can be inspiration for those looking to truly honor their own spiritual path.

This pod explores:

  • What “deconstruction” actually means and how to allow yourself to question deep-seated religious concepts (Hint: it’s super fucking brave)
  • Reckoning with the binary concept of our actions being either sinful or not sinful and how to determine your own moral code
  • Kara’s personal story with leaving the faith she was raised in and how she was able to “come out” as both an ex-evangelical and a bi-sexual woman
  • Understanding the intersections between religious dogma, queerness, and feeling unworthy or “not enough” (Spoiler: they’re often massively entangled)

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I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT ‘ GUESTIE

Kara Barr (she/her) is the Unshakable Queer Coach – a certified life coach for queer, ex-evangelicals who want better relationships with fundamentalist family members.

After leaving her family’s faith traditions and coming out as queer, she struggled to navigate her relationship with her parents. But through coaching, she found the tools to confidently show up as her full self and to create the type of relationship she wanted to have with her family. Now, she helps her clients do the same.

You can stay in touch with Kara at her website or on Facebook.

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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#445 – LEAVING A CULT + FINDING A NEW SPIRITUAL IDENTITY WITH LOPA VAN DER MERSCH

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#445 – LEAVING A CULT + FINDING A NEW SPIRITUAL IDENTITY WITH LOPA VAN DER MERSCH

Ever wonder how folks who end up in a cult actually, um… end up in a fucking cult? Certainly they must be highly gullible or dying for approval or just simply not that smart, right? Not exactly. Let me ask you this… Have you ever had a relationship you stayed in a bit too long because it started out so great and you kept fighting for it waaaay past the point of toxicity? Or have you ever stayed in a negative work environment and allowed abusive coworkers or bosses make you question your worth? Sadly, these sorts of situations are ridiculously common and the dynamic of falling prey to an abusive dogma isn’t all that different. 

No one ever roots for their partner to be a narcissistic asshole. So we look for the good times, attach to them, and overlook red flags. No one ever likes the idea that they made a bad career choice, so we pretend the money is worth it or the toxicity isn’t that bad even though our intuition is screaming at us. Same is true for getting sucked into the promises and allure of a charismatic leader guaranteeing extreme personal growth, spirituality, and enlightenment.

Not to mention that much of our identity is formed by others impressing their beliefs on us… beliefs instilled in us by our families, our religions, our culture, our politics, you name it. In order to find our own personal truth and sense of identity, it becomes necessary to critique the beliefs we’ve attached to throughout our lives.

In this week’s show, I dial up Lopa van der Mersch, spiritual seeker and the founder and CEO of Rasa, a unique adaptogenic coffee alternative. She discusses how her spiritual pursuits landed her in a cult and how she was able to reclaim not only her spirituality but also her entire identity outside of beliefs that were not aligned with her. 

This pod explores:

  • How our pull to stifle red flags locks us into detrimental relationships, workplaces, and friendships and what to do about it
  • How to look for “high demand” groups in your life who make be asking you to sacrifice too much of yourself
  • How to deal with the fear of “What if I do it again?” when coming out of an abusive relationship or workplace
  • Understanding the “neurochemical equivalent of fear” you are likely allowing into your life on a daily basis without even realizing it

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT’ GUESTIE

Lopa van der Mersch is many things: Serial entrepreneur. Mother of two. Sustainability freak. TEDx speaker. Her adventures have taken her around the world in search of health, spiritual fulfillment, and boundless energy. Three years ago, she added a new chapter to her life story: Founder and CEO of Rasa, the adaptogenic coffee alternatives transforming the way we energize.

In 2015, Lopa endured what she now calls “her own personal 2020” — she left a cult, underwent emergency surgery while pregnant, lost a beloved family member, and had a traumatic Cesarean birth. Beaten down and exhausted, she needed a sustainable source of energy that could naturally elevate her mood without burnout, crashes, or jitters – and that wouldn’t be as harsh on her already taxed nervous system as coffee.

The problem? What she needed didn’t seem to exist — yet. So, she partnered with a clinical herbalist and got to work. After countless failures and “almost-but-not-quite” creations, Rasa was born: adaptogen-rich blends that nourish and revitalize the body while providing enough rich, roasty flavor to convert even the most devoted coffee fanatic.

Three years later, what started with a mom elbow-deep in herbs in her kitchen has grown into a full-blown energy movement — exploding with nearly triple-digit yearly growth and serving over 100,000 customers worldwide.

Connect with Lopa on LinkedIn, Facebook and Insta.

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[AMY SAYS] EP#444 – Identity Work: 4 Ways to Understand + Honor Who You Are

[AMY SAYS] EP#444 – Identity Work: 4 Ways to Understand + Honor Who You Are

If you’ve hung out with me for any length of time, you’ll know that I am often encouraging folks to stop identifying with monikers that feel disempowering. For instance, if you want to get more shit done, you probably should stop calling yourself lazy. Or if you want to knock it off with the people-pleasing already, it’s time to stop saying, “I’m such a people-pleaser”. When we start statements with “I am…” or “I’m so…” we inadvertently cement the very characteristics we want to distance ourselves from. 

The concept of our “identity” is something that fluctuates throughout our lifetime and it’s no doubt you’ve dealt with changes to your life roles. You have a baby, now you have a new role as parent. You start a business and now your role changes from employee to business owner. And just like any other change in our life, changes to our roles usher in a slew of emotions to reckon with. 

And let’s not forget how other folks shape our identity. It’s likely you can think back to labels others have given you throughout your life. Were you labeled sensitive, needy, jealous, the funny one, the smart one, the one who is always strong through everything? How did those labels land for you? Did they send the message that you were “less than”? Cause more stress to live into those labels? The great news is no matter how long you’ve believed something about yourself, you can always change it. And, that’s exactly what we’re discussing in this week’s episode. 

Have a listen as I explore four major ways we can truly understand and embrace who we are. This episode is packed with coaching exercises, so be sure to have a pen and paper handy. We’ll look at the current ways you’ve been identifying (even if you haven’t been conscious about it), how others have influenced your identity and the powerful steps you can take to reclaim your sense of self. 

This pod explores:

  • The simple inventory exercise you must do to figure out ways you’ve been labeling yourself (without even realizing it)
  • How others have “branded” you throughout your life and how that can hold you back or build you up… and what to do with that information
  • My favorite “Life Roles” exercise to figure out if you’re spending your time and energy in ways that genuinely light you up
  • Exploring the cascading effect of changes in roles creating shifts in emotions and how to navigate those feels

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

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I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#443 – Identity: Becoming Who You Want to Be with Sara Dean

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#443 – Identity: Becoming Who You Want to Be with Sara Dean

If you’ve been hanging out with me for any length of time, you are likely a person who gives a shit about growing and developing and becoming the person you truly want to be. But, what does that actually look like? What does it really mean to actively work toward a more evolved version of yourself? What if you are so stuck in a cycle of working, taking care of everyone else, putting out fires, rinse, repeat and have no idea what you actually enjoy or really want?

It can be so easy to get into a tornado of a career/work life and forget what you even like to do for fun. Or maybe you threw yourself into raising children and in between diaper changes and college tours, you forgot what you’re really passionate about. It’s not uncommon to get to a place in your life where you feel like your entire identity is wrapped up in one major area of your life. And then you’re like, “No wonder I’m not happy… I have no idea who I am and what I like anymore!”

On this week’s show, I dial up my pal, Sara Dean, a mindset and leadership coach who, following the birth of her son, rebuilt her own identity one step at a time. She is passionate about helping women own their space and embrace all of who they are… even if they aren’t sure where to start. In this discussion, we break down where we tend to lose who we are and we also dig into Sara’s easy-to-implement steps you can take to uncover who you want to be. 

This pod explores:

  • Sara’s two-prong approach of “Frequency and Recency” and how you can use them to become more of the person you want to be
  • How to own your personal superpower even if you are feeling lost, stuck, and have no idea what you want
  • What it looks like to stop waiting for permission and how to ask for support instead
  • How to examine what kind of evidence you are collecting and if that is helping or hurting you from becoming the person you want to be

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

______

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT’ GUESTIE

Sara Dean is a mindset, business and leadership coach. She is also the creator and host of the Shameless Mom Academy Podcast, a top rated podcast with 4 million downloads. Sara’s biggest passion is helping women own their space. After enduring her own identity crisis following the birth of her son, Sara took her background in psychology/health/ wellness and rebuilt her identity, one step at a time. Sara motivates and inspires women to stop shrinking and start shining. She is on a mission to inspire women and moms, in particular, to live bigger, bolder, braver #everydamnday.

Sara serves women through her podcast, her thriving Momentum Mamas membership community, her Tenacious Mamas business & leadership mastermind and her annual event, Shameless Mom Con.

When she’s not supporting Shameless Moms, you’ll find Sara with her husband and 9 year old son – building Legos and pretending to understand Minecraft. 

Connect with Sara on Insta and/or her free Facebook Community.

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[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#442 – Understanding + Cultivating Intimacy with Allana Pratt

[DIAL AN EXPERT] EP#442 – Understanding + Cultivating Intimacy with Allana Pratt

What if I told you great intimacy was fully possible for you… even if you’re totally single. Wait… what!? I know, I know. Here’s the deal, my friend: intimacy is so often seen through only a sexual or romantic lens, but intimacy is simply about deeply, truly knowing. Seeing. Hearing. Understanding someone deeply. And, that means you can have a fully intimate relationship with yourself. With or without deep love from another. And, that doesn’t have to mean you don’t desire love from someone else. You can have a rich relationship with yourself AND desire a connected relationship with a romantic partner.

This week on the show, I’m dialing up an expert on the subject of intimacy. My dear friend and colleague, Allana Pratt joins me to discuss the way our society glorifies partnership at a great cost (as in, I’ll be happy and worthy as long as I’m partnered), how to cultivate an intimate relationship with yourself, and how our major barrier to intimacy is our resistance to vulnerability. (Not to mention that vulnerability is touted as weakness in our culture and in many families of origin.)

Allana shares the pivotal childhood moment when her father, irritated with her childlike play, punched a hole in the wall imprinting the message that men are dangerous, can’t be trusted, and she must twist and contort herself to be found valuable in a suitor’s eyes. We discuss how much emotional intelligence has to do with thriving in a relationship, whether romantic or otherwise, and the steps you can take to open yourself up to intimacy (without feeling freaked-the-fuck out).

If you tend to avoid your emotions rather than feel them, grab a pen and paper, friend, because this one is gooooood.

This pod explores:

  • What intimacy even is and why it’s related to every single relationship we have… even the one with ourselves
  • Knowing when you can share your story and when it may not be safe to do so
  • Understanding the connection between intimacy and vulnerability and the reason why they can both be so fucking uncomfortable
  • Why we run from our emotional self and try to fix everything instead of feel our way through it (and how to shift that)

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

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THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT ‘ GUESTIE

Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those who have suffered heartbreak and are ready to live unapologetically and attract an open-hearted ideal relationship. She has been chosen as an Icon of Influence, is a columnist on the GoodMenProject, and has been featured on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS, ABC & FOX, and more.

This Ivy League grad is the author of 6 books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg and Alanis Morissette, and Hosts the edgy Podcast, Intimate Conversations, where listeners learn how to find the relationship they deserve. A certified coach with close to 5 million viewers on YouTube, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars.

While supporting a number of nonprofits, Allana has created a new category with an inclusive Partnering App & Intimacy Training called HeartMates.app where members Become the One to Find the One… which Keeps the One! She also offers HeartMates for Couples, private and group coaching plus retreats so that her clients have a thriving intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships.

Connect with Allana on Insta, Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube.

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[AMY SAYS] EP#441 – What to Do When You are Desiring Intimacy but Fearing Vulnerability

[AMY SAYS] EP#441 – What to Do When You are Desiring Intimacy but Fearing Vulnerability

Ever find yourself desiring deep, rich connections with your partner or your friends and family but have a hellova time letting your guard down? Maybe you even find yourself craving deep intimacy but you’re absolutely terrified to really “be seen”. I mean, isn’t it just safer to stay walled up? Well… if the other party was vulnerable first… maybe then it would be safe. Maybe. Why is it so damn hard to be vulnerable?

If you’ve found your mind spinning with the same questions, you are certainly not the exception. Many of us crave rich, soulful connections with our loved ones, but we’re absolutely paralyzed by fear of being vulnerable. So we put up massive walls, don’t let people in, and then wonder why we don’t have intimacy.

In this episode, I dig into the detrimental notions we’re inundated within our culture, how it sends major mixed messages about vulnerability, and why you need to drastically change the narrative if you want to experience intimacy in your relationships. And guess what? You get to take as many baby steps as you need to feel safe. Promise.

This pod explores:

  • How our society shapes our views of safety in relationships (And how that isn’t doing you any favors)
  • Challenging the notion that vulnerability equals weakness, when in reality vulnerability equals courage
  • The three simplest ways to gradually and lovingly step into vulnerability (without feeling like you might die)
  • The real cost of not allowing room for vulnerability in your life

HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!

ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs.

______

PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE

This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!

Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from
LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~>

______

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

___

How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
  • Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account
  • Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title
  • Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button
  • You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes

______

Want to Submit a Show Topic?

Swing by THIS PAGE and let us hear what you would like us to sound off on!