If I were to ask you what the most important things in your life are… what would you say?
Probably your family, your spouse, hopefully yourself, maybe your spirituality, right?
But if I were to ask you how you spend most of your time/energy, what would you say?
Seriously… where do you spend most of your time?
Are the two categories aligned? Or even close?
Yeah… you aren’t alone. Quite a few years ago, I had an epiphany. I was working my ass off for a company that truly monopolized much of my time and energy. I was super caught up in the urgency of my work and all the demands. After a near burn-out and quarter-life crisis, I made a huge realization.
I realized that many of us cater to everything in our lives based off of how urgent it is presented to us.
You may have heard the phrase “The Tyranny of the Urgent”. What does that mean? Well, simply stated, it means that we naturally tend to the things in our lives that present themselves as urgent or as an emergency, as I like to call it. And what usually seems urgent? Probably shit that doesn’t really fall under “one of the most important things in my life” category, right? Oftentimes it’s work, obligations, other people’s urgency… bottom line is, we are constantly spending time and energy on things that aren’t really an emergency. In fact, it may be the exact opposite… shit that doesn’t even deserve our time and energy… it’s just wrapped up in a package that screams, “Take care of me first!! I’m an emergency!! I’m sooooo urgent!!”
So, let’s say you are working yourself to the bone, for your job that feels like a constant emergency and you get a call that your child or spouse has been in an accident. You would drop work immediately, right? Why? Because now your family is the emergency. Or maybe you are wrapped up in a volunteer program that monopolizes your time and all of a sudden your partner expresses they are on the way out of the relationship. Now your marriage/relationship has become the emergency, right? So here’s what I’m pointing to: why does it take emergency status to wake us up and actually allocate our time and energy to the things in our life that we would actually claim are the most important things to us? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? We’ve all heard the old adage… no one on their deathbed says “I wish I worked more.” They say, “Damn. I wish I was there for my kid more“ or “I wish I showed up in my marriage” or “I wish I took better care of myself.”
So, how does this apply to your own life?
Let’s get really clear on all this, shall we? Take out a piece of paper and write out the 4-5 things that you would say are THE MOST IMPORTANT things to you in your life. The things that you live and breathe for. For many, the things that you would actually die for. What are those things? Ok, so right next to that column, I want you to start thinking about how you spend your time/energy on an average day and write next to those things a percentage… a percentage of your time/energy you spend on these “most important” things. Now, still thinking about your average day, list out all the other shit that gets most of your personal resource. What are the percentages there? What’s out of alignment?
This small exercise can be hugely eye-opening. Now, I’m not saying quit your job and play with your kids all day. I understand that there is a bit of a give and take here, but I’m guessing that there is somewhere you could actually give a bit more of yourself to the shit that you actually really care about.
Ok, one more little exercise before I leave you to re-appropriate your time. Still looking at your average day, is there anything that monopolizes your time that you really don’t even like? Anything that you are taking on that you resent? Anything you are saying “yes” to simply out of obligation? What would your life look like if you only said “yes” to stuff that lit you up? Alright, so stop right now with “but, Amy, I can’t…” I’m not interested in can’t. It’s actually won’t. Start substituting “won’t” for “can’t” because that is what you are really saying.
Now, leave that all behind and look at what you CAN do.
What’s one small step you CAN take to better allocate your time and energy to shit that actually really matters to you? One place where you could say “no”? One thing you don’t want to do that you can eliminate? One way you can focus on the shit that really matters? What have you been treating as an emergency that really isn’t? What if you treated your happiness as the emergency?
Or, you could always just stay the same. [wah, wah]
Get. Fucking. On it.
P.S. **Oh, and I currently have 2 spots open for my one-on-one coaching program. Find out more details here.
IIf you have found yourself in a situation where you absolutely dread going to work each day, this episode is for you! Working in a soul-sucking J-O-B can dramatically affect your entire life… and usually not in a good way. In this week’s episode, Amy shares her personal experience of leaving a job that was no longer fulfilling for her and exactly what she did to craft her “escape plan”. You’ll learn about all the things you actually CAN do to foster change in this area. This pod explores:
How to craft and “escape plan” and how to work that plan
How to shift your perspective about your current job that will likely make things much easier
Where you may be sabotaging yourself in pursuit of your dream job
How to stay motivated in going after a new career path
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NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
______
THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB!
COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB.
You in on this FREE badassery yet? You are officially invited to my super exclusive/inclusive, [grin] Facebook group, The Joy Junkie After Hours Club!
If you’ve been diggin’ the pod, this group will be an extra dose of support, training vids, discussions, coupon codes, behind the scenes and advice from moi! Plus, it’s #totes free and your new soul tribe is waiting for you!
AAt this time of the year everyone is super pumped and determined to create a completely different year than the one prior. It’s no surprise that many people fall of the bandwagon by February (if they’re lucky) and usually wait to get excited for any further goal-setting until the next January. If you find yourself on this slippery slope, there is probably a very good reason for that. In this episode, Amy highlights 10 ways you can ensure you set fail-proof resolutions and goals that get you exactly what you want this year. This one 30-minute episode could completely change how successful you are at accomplishing your deepest desires for the coming year. This pod explores:
Why being specific and quantifiable is IMPERATIVE for accomplishing goals
How the people in your life can make or break your success in the new year
Why you need to be 100% selfish when you set your new year goals
How to fuel yourself with empowering thoughts that support your journey
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NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
______
THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB!
COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB.
You in on this FREE badassery yet? You are officially invited to my super exclusive/inclusive, [grin] Facebook group, The Joy Junkie After Hours Club!
If you’ve been diggin’ the pod, this group will be an extra dose of support, training vids, discussions, coupon codes, behind the scenes and advice from moi! Plus, it’s #totes free and your new soul tribe is waiting for you!
So, I don’t roll with the punches. I’m not super “easy-going” and not up for “whatever”. I certainly don’t go with the mother-fucking flow.
I love order, structure, and planning. And, you want to know why I don’t LOVE to roll with the punches?
Because it’s Just. Not. Me.
And, I grew mighty sick of apologizing for who I am a loooong time ago.
Now, this little badass stance I’ve adopted certainly hasn’t always been the case. I used to feel that if there was some sort of trait I (or society) deemed attractive or desired… I must somehow fit this square peg into all those round holes. So, in honor of square pegs everywhere who may think the only road to acceptance (and therefore, happiness) must mean round contortions, here is a lovely list of things I refuse to apologize for… or over-explain, for that matter. Ever again.
I will no longer apologize because:
I’m high-maintenance, love all things girly, + take a hot minute to get ready
I’m not that into music [gasp!!]
I absolutely hate spontaneity + most outdoor activities
I don’t censor my thoughts or feelings
I have a fucking sailor mouth
I love order, control, + stability
I have no desire or interest in being a mother
I’m not a fan of “traditional women’s roles” + don’t cook + hire someone to clean
And, I’m a life coach who actually watches Keeping up with the Kardashians. I know.
Whew! So, that felt good to get out. So, how ’bout you? Are there components to who you are, that you constantly feel the need to apologize for… or possibly OVER-EXPLAIN? Things that your fam doesn’t get? Your spouse doesn’t get? Perhaps things you’ve made up in your mind just aren’t okay to embody?
A slight caveat here… I soooo believe in apologizing. But, ONLY if you’ve made a mess. If you fucked up. But, here’s the thing… we don’t ONLY apologize when we’ve made a mess. We apologize for WHO. WE. ARE. Our choices. Our stances. Our decisions. And, one of the biggest ways this plays out in our lives is by over-explaining. Feeling as though we owe people some sort of rationale, explanation, or reason why we feel a certain way. Or, why we ARE a certain way.
Allow me to tell you a story. I’m 35. I married my soul-mate when I was 20. We’ve been blissfully married for 15 years, together for 17. From day one, everyone in our orbit asked us when we were going to have children. In my snide, acerbic manner, I loved to retort, “Oh… no, we really don’t like children.” (I’ve always been a smart-ass, just not always an enlightened smartass). Although, I felt comfortable and certain with our choice, I did feel a never-ending pull to explain our position to everyone we encountered. Elaborately.
It wasn’t until years later, and much personal growth work and introspection, that I came to the realization that I didn’t owe anyone ANY explanation. And, not just for that choice. For anything.
So, I turn this to you. What would shift if you actually didn’t feel the need to apologize or over-explain your choices, thoughts, characteristics, or affinities? What would change if you just didn’t ever entertain the “explanation”? If you could actually bullet point the things that make you, YOU, which you will no longer apologize for, what would they be?
And, most importantly, what will you actually DO differently? Not just reading a lovely article about taking a stand for yourself and then doing jack-shit with it. I’m serious. Write out a list. A list of all the things you will no longer apologize for or over-explain. And, actually IMPLEMENT it. Set boundaries. Walk away or excuse yourself from conversations. Hang up the phone. Whatever.
Let’s be honest. No one is going to offer you a free pass to actually be yourself. Unless you do. Your move, Ace.
EEver find yourself in a tiff with a loved one and all of a sudden you feel responsible to clean up the mess even though you still feel like you didn’t really do anything wrong? It can be so challenging to stick to your guns and handle yourself with grace when there are people in your life who would rather throw things and yell. In this episode, Amy addresses a listener’s concerns about a family fight and how to work with this sticky situation. Amy covers a five-step process to dealing with people being PISSED at you and exactly what to do about it. This pod explores:
How to give yourself the permission to be totally hurt and bummed out when someone is upset with you
How to know if you should listen to anything the opposition has said
How to create a hierarchy around criticism and rejection in your life (a.k.a. Some stuff matters, some stuff doesn’t)
How to process the pissiness and move on
______
NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
______
THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB!
COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB.
You in on this FREE badassery yet? You are officially invited to my super exclusive/inclusive, [grin] Facebook group, The Joy Junkie After Hours Club!
If you’ve been diggin’ the pod, this group will be an extra dose of support, training vids, discussions, coupon codes, behind the scenes and advice from moi! Plus, it’s #totes free and your new soul tribe is waiting for you!
IIf you are like most people, chances are you find yourself heavily invested in what others think… of you… of your choices… of everything. And, oftentimes it completely infringes on you living the richest life possible. You spin your wheels catering to others and trying to make them happy, many times at a major cost to you and your fulfillment. Whether this behavior was instilled in you as a child or whether you developed it over time, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is YOU taking back the reins of your life. In this episode, Amy looks at a handful of key concepts to aid you in speaking up for yourself. This pod explores:
How to analyze if you are surrounded by people who support you or guilt you
How to navigate what “selfish” really looks like and why you most likely need to be a bit more selfish
How to know when (and when not) to speak up for yourself
Easy-to-implement baby steps for taking a stand for yourself and your opinions
How to say “no” with grace
______
NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
______
THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB!
COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB.
You in on this FREE badassery yet? You are officially invited to my super exclusive/inclusive, [grin] Facebook group, The Joy Junkie After Hours Club!
If you’ve been diggin’ the pod, this group will be an extra dose of support, training vids, discussions, coupon codes, behind the scenes and advice from moi! Plus, it’s #totes free and your new soul tribe is waiting for you!
WWhen you find yourself super upset with someone in your life, it can be very challenging to communicate in an effective way. Many people simply communicate (a.k.a. fight) by screaming their heads off, hurling insults, and wonder why they aren’t getting their point across. In this episode, Amy looks at four ways to disagree and even argue with someone AND still be kind in doing so. This pod explores:
How to know what you are (and are not) responsible for
How to have a candid, non-charged convo with your partner to establish a system for arguing
How to know if it’s a battle you even need to fight
How to disagree in a way in which you are proud of yourself
______
NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
______
THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB!
COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB.
You in on this FREE badassery yet? You are officially invited to my super exclusive/inclusive, [grin] Facebook group, The Joy Junkie After Hours Club!
If you’ve been diggin’ the pod, this group will be an extra dose of support, training vids, discussions, coupon codes, behind the scenes and advice from moi! Plus, it’s #totes free and your new soul tribe is waiting for you!
NNo matter how grounded you are in your own personal growth, there are undoubtedly times of hardship that you have or will go through that prove extremely challenging and trying. So what is an evolved spirit to do when shit seriously hits the fan; When you lose a job, have to deal with death, divorce, a law suit or some other seriously trying event? In this episode, Amy digs into a listener’s question on how to stay grounded and positive during a really, rough life event. You’ll learn 6 tangible tools you can immediately implement to shift your perspective around your current set of circumstances. This pod explores:
How your chosen perspective completely dictates your reality
How to examine if your current set of beliefs is helping or hurting the situation
Details on an awesome “no complaining” challenge
Why radical self-care during these times are paramount and what exactly self-care looks like
______
NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
______
THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB!
COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB.
You in on this FREE badassery yet? You are officially invited to my super exclusive/inclusive, [grin] Facebook group, The Joy Junkie After Hours Club!
If you’ve been diggin’ the pod, this group will be an extra dose of support, training vids, discussions, coupon codes, behind the scenes and advice from moi! Plus, it’s #totes free and your new soul tribe is waiting for you!
FFind yourself wishing that you and your partner had a richer connection, but have no idea how to create deeper intimacy? Many people don’t take the path towards intimacy… the path of true vulnerability. It can be so much easier to keep your walls up and not let anyone in, which, in turn, also leads to quite a bit less intimacy. In this episode, Amy looks at what this trade-off really looks like and how to increase your intimacy with your partner in ways that aren’t super scary. This pod explores:
What-the-hell intimacy even means
How to create daily practices that dramatically increase the intimacy of your relationship
Super-fun and easy ideas to cultivate connection with your partner
Overlooked ways to create physical intimacy with your partner
______
NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
______
THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB!
COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB.
You in on this FREE badassery yet? You are officially invited to my super exclusive/inclusive, [grin] Facebook group, The Joy Junkie After Hours Club!
If you’ve been diggin’ the pod, this group will be an extra dose of support, training vids, discussions, coupon codes, behind the scenes and advice from moi! Plus, it’s #totes free and your new soul tribe is waiting for you!
EEver find yourself stalling on goals because you feel muddled and lack clarity? It can be such a challenge to figure out exactly what you want, why you want it, and if you’re really doing this “thing” for the right reasons. In this episode Amy breaks down a simple five-step approach to getting clarity on areas in your life that you KNOW you need to make some movement in, yet you are paralyzed with fear about making the right choice. Need clarity around your career? Your fitness? Your relationship? This guidance will get you jumpstarted and easily outline exactly what choice needs to be made. This pod explores:
Which decisions will impact you the most and in the shortest amount of time
How to figure out what is getting in the way of your clarity
Easy tools to use your heart for guidance v. your head
How to research and play to find exactly what your options are
______
NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
______
THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB!
COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB.
You in on this FREE badassery yet? You are officially invited to my super exclusive/inclusive, [grin] Facebook group, The Joy Junkie After Hours Club!
If you’ve been diggin’ the pod, this group will be an extra dose of support, training vids, discussions, coupon codes, behind the scenes and advice from moi! Plus, it’s #totes free and your new soul tribe is waiting for you!
I'm a sassy-ass life coach and hypnotherapist who specializes in all things self-worth and confidence. I help aspiring badasses (hint: that's YOU!) speak up for themselves without being assholes. As in... telling your mom to stop butting into your relationship. You feel me, no?
It's time to let go of all that people-pleasing and cultivate some serious "enoughness". You're home, love. You're home.
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A slight caveat here… I soooo believe in apologizing. But, ONLY if you’ve made a mess. If you fucked up. But, here’s the thing… we don’t ONLY apologize when we’ve made a mess. We apologize for WHO. WE. ARE. Our choices. Our stances. Our decisions. And, one of the biggest ways this plays out in our lives is by over-explaining. Feeling as though we owe people some sort of rationale, explanation, or reason why we feel a certain way. Or, why we ARE a certain way.
