[EXPERT] EP499 – The ‘D’ Word: Making the ultimate decision about your marriage with kate anthony

Jan 21, 2024


Every single year, over 1 million women question leaving their marriage. And nearly 70 percent of all divorces are initiated by women. And it’s no wonder – Marriage makes men’s lives exponentially easier while it makes women’s lives drastically harder. It is clear that ‘traditional’ marriage dynamics are no longer tenable for American women. 

Years ago, I remember having a chat with a friend where she was lamenting that she should be grateful her husband wasn’t cavorting around, cheating on her, abusing substances, or screaming obscenities at her. I clearly remember her saying, “Wow, the bar is set pretty damn low.” Seriously. Not being abused should be a given, not something to be celebrated. 

In my near two decades of coaching, I have found myriad women frustrated, overwhelmed, and downright furious about the inequity in their marriage. Whilst doing all the domestic labor, holding down impressive careers, and digging deep into therapy and personal development, these women often find themselves lonely, heartbroken, and baffled at the lack of ownership and responsibility their partners were exhibiting in the relationship. No wonder recent studies cite single women without children being the happiest in our society.

In this week’s episode, I chat with my close pal and colleague, Kate Anthony, who has just penned a book entitled, “The ‘D’ Word: Making the Ultimate Decision about Your Marriage”. Kate talks with me about her own divorce journey, shares about debunked studies citing divorce negatively affects children, understanding narcissism, and the courageous choice not to settle for subpar relationships. Have a listen and gain more insight on if you should stay or if you should go.

This pod explores:

  • Understanding various forms of abuse and the unexpected way financial abuse shows up 
  • The faulty and unfounded research that propagated the notion that you should “stay together for the kids” and what new research has found
  • Why trying to “just communicate more effectively” isn’t working for you and what to focus on instead
  • The curious place we are in history where the gender dynamics of marriage are changing dramatically



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Kate Anthony is the author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage, host of the critically acclaimed and New York Times recommended podcast The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast and the creator of the groundbreaking online coaching program, Should I Stay or Should I Go? which helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. Kate is certified as a Domestic Violence Advocate, a Co-Parenting Specialist, and a High Conflict Divorce Coach.

Connect with Kate on Facebook, Insta, or TikTok




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I'm a sassy-ass life coach and hypnotherapist who specializes in all things self-worth and confidence. I help aspiring badasses (hint: that's YOU!) speak up for themselves without being assholes. As in... telling your mom to stop butting into your relationship. You feel me, no?

It's time to let go of all that people-pleasing and cultivate some serious "enoughness". You're home, love. You're home.


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