[AMY SAYS] 12 Ways We Abandon Ourselves and What to Do About It – PART 1 EP#411

Sep 19, 2021

Don’t rock the boat. Don’t open up a can of worms. Sweep it under the rug. We have so many idioms that metaphorically express a common message: KEEP. QUIET. And if we unpack that message even further, there are a few inferences: 1) If you do speak up there is something wrong with you and 2) You should make other people’s comfort more important than your own truth. Oof.

Listen, chronically and consistently putting others in front of ourselves is poison disguised as nobility. Early on we learn that taking care of everyone else and making sure everyone else is okay is our life’s work. That it is noble to sacrifice Self. At all costs. But, there is a grave cost to constantly seeking approval outside of yourself, hiding who you are, and dismissing your own needs. In a word, Self-Abandonment. (Well, two words hyphenated.) The idea that we discount who we are and what we need in order to make everyone else happy. Or possibly because we don’t believe we even deserve to be happy.

In this week’s show, (the first of a two-part series) I look at 12 common ways we tend to abandon ourselves in order to search for our worth and happiness in external factors. Many of these behaviors are tactics we adopted to stay safe and protect ourselves, so this certainly isn’t a chastisement but rather a way to examine what we do, why we do it, and choose behaviors that feel empowering and honoring. Grab a pen and paper because there are many real-world assignments for you to implement. 

This pod explores:

  • Understanding the pull to abandon ourselves and how this is a completely normal defense mechanism
  • The instinct to people-please and how to know when it’s healthy and when it’s not
  • Learning to lean into your intuition and what the hell that even means (and my favorite first step)
  • The missing piece of practicing vulnerability and how to actually do it




Free Workshop - let go of self doubt, get rid of perfectionism, let go of what everyone thinks Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is!

If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.

It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome


Additional Resources:


How to Leave Apple Podcasts Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE
  • Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account
  • Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title
  • Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button
  • You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes


Want to Submit a Show Topic?

Swing by THIS PAGE and let us hear what you would like us to sound off on!


I'm a sassy-ass life coach and hypnotherapist who specializes in all things self-worth and confidence. I help aspiring badasses (hint: that's YOU!) speak up for themselves without being assholes. As in... telling your mom to stop butting into your relationship. You feel me, no?

It's time to let go of all that people-pleasing and cultivate some serious "enoughness". You're home, love. You're home.


Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors
Search in posts
Search in pages