Don’t rock the boat. Don’t open up a can of worms. Sweep it under the rug. We have so many idioms that metaphorically express a common message: KEEP. QUIET. And if we unpack that message even further, there are a few inferences: 1) If you do speak up there is something wrong with you and 2) You should make other people’s comfort more important than your own truth. Oof.
Listen, chronically and consistently putting others in front of ourselves is poison disguised as nobility. Early on we learn that taking care of everyone else and making sure everyone else is okay is our life’s work. That it is noble to sacrifice Self. At all costs. But, there is a grave cost to constantly seeking approval outside of yourself, hiding who you are, and dismissing your own needs. In a word, Self-Abandonment. (Well, two words hyphenated.) The idea that we discount who we are and what we need in order to make everyone else happy. Or possibly because we don’t believe we even deserve to be happy.
In this week’s show, (the first of a two-part series) I look at 12 common ways we tend to abandon ourselves in order to search for our worth and happiness in external factors. Many of these behaviors are tactics we adopted to stay safe and protect ourselves, so this certainly isn’t a chastisement but rather a way to examine what we do, why we do it, and choose behaviors that feel empowering and honoring. Grab a pen and paper because there are many real-world assignments for you to implement.
This pod explores:
- Understanding the pull to abandon ourselves and how this is a completely normal defense mechanism
- The instinct to people-please and how to know when it’s healthy and when it’s not
- Learning to lean into your intuition and what the hell that even means (and my favorite first step)
- The missing piece of practicing vulnerability and how to actually do it
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NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP
READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM?
OF COURSE, YOU ARE!
If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new workshop! You’ll learn the exact five-step process I take my clients through so they can let go of all the stress and angst of striving for “perfect” and caring waaaaay too much what everyone else thinks.
It’s time to finally believe in yourself, find that self-confidence you crave, and start living your life for YOU. So, clickety-click RIGHT HUURRR or click that image to the right to get on The List! #yourewelcome
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Additional Resources:
- Grab your seat at my workshop!! FOR FREE!!
- POD #298: 4 Steps To Silencing Your Inner Shit-talker
- POD #302: True or False: Vulnerability Edition
- POD #335: True or False: People-pleasing Edition
- POD #356: Understanding Emotional Intelligence – Connecting What You Feel With What You Do
- POD #367: 7 Ways To Cultivate Self-trust
- POD #370: True or False: Emotional Intelligence Edition
- POD #383: The Impact Of Our Parents: Healing The Mother/Father Wound
- POD #389: [Amy Says] Combatting The Need To Be Perfect
- POD #390: [Dial An Expert] Jenna Teague + Ashley Looker On Perfectionism
- POD #391: [Tool] Using Human Design To Address Perfectionism With Kelsey Abbott
- POD #392: [Coaching Session] Working With Ify On Perfectionism
- POD #344: What Self-care *Really* Means
- Why We Abandon Ourselves and How to Stop, PyschCentral
- Soulessencelove on Instagram or on the Web
- Julia Kristina on Self-Abandonment and Julia’s website
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