What if I told you great intimacy was fully possible for you… even if you’re totally single. Wait… what!? I know, I know. Here’s the deal, my friend: intimacy is so often seen through only a sexual or romantic lens, but intimacy is simply about deeply, truly knowing. Seeing. Hearing. Understanding someone deeply. And, that means you can have a fully intimate relationship with yourself. With or without deep love from another. And, that doesn’t have to mean you don’t desire love from someone else. You can have a rich relationship with yourself AND desire a connected relationship with a romantic partner.
This week on the show, I’m dialing up an expert on the subject of intimacy. My dear friend and colleague, Allana Pratt joins me to discuss the way our society glorifies partnership at a great cost (as in, I’ll be happy and worthy as long as I’m partnered), how to cultivate an intimate relationship with yourself, and how our major barrier to intimacy is our resistance to vulnerability. (Not to mention that vulnerability is touted as weakness in our culture and in many families of origin.)
Allana shares the pivotal childhood moment when her father, irritated with her childlike play, punched a hole in the wall imprinting the message that men are dangerous, can’t be trusted, and she must twist and contort herself to be found valuable in a suitor’s eyes. We discuss how much emotional intelligence has to do with thriving in a relationship, whether romantic or otherwise, and the steps you can take to open yourself up to intimacy (without feeling freaked-the-fuck out).
If you tend to avoid your emotions rather than feel them, grab a pen and paper, friend, because this one is gooooood.
This pod explores:
- What intimacy even is and why it’s related to every single relationship we have… even the one with ourselves
- Knowing when you can share your story and when it may not be safe to do so
- Understanding the connection between intimacy and vulnerability and the reason why they can both be so fucking uncomfortable
- Why we run from our emotional self and try to fix everything instead of feel our way through it (and how to shift that)
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PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!!
Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it! Check it out ~>
- POD #440: Working With Your Inner Child + Attracting Love With Veronica Grant
- POD #441: What to Do When You are Desiring Intimacy but Fearing Vulnerability
THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT ‘ GUESTIE
Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those who have suffered heartbreak and are ready to live unapologetically and attract an open-hearted ideal relationship. She has been chosen as an Icon of Influence, is a columnist on the GoodMenProject, and has been featured on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS, ABC & FOX, and more.
This Ivy League grad is the author of 6 books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg and Alanis Morissette, and Hosts the edgy Podcast, Intimate Conversations, where listeners learn how to find the relationship they deserve. A certified coach with close to 5 million viewers on YouTube, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars.
While supporting a number of nonprofits, Allana has created a new category with an inclusive Partnering App & Intimacy Training called HeartMates.app where members Become the One to Find the One… which Keeps the One! She also offers HeartMates for Couples, private and group coaching plus retreats so that her clients have a thriving intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships.
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