What if you could listen in to a coaching session where someone is being coached on how to establish much-needed boundaries with overbearing and controlling siblings? You’d be all over it, right? I mean… who hasn’t struggled to set up boundaries with family. Hello! In this coaching episode, I work with a lovely and highly accomplished woman, Isabel, on her constant struggle to be heard and taken seriously as the youngest of five siblings.
When I asked how she struggled to set and enforce boundaries, here is what she shared with me:
I need help with my family! I have three older sisters, and two of them think they are my mothers and have tried to boss me around my whole life. I’m almost 47, and it is time for this to stop! There are no boundaries — they voice their opinion on my religious practices (or rather lack thereof), that I moved to another state (can’t imagine why I would want to do that!), that I chose not to have children, etc.
Nothing is sacred or private, and it has gotten so much worse since my Dad passed this past March. I am so thankful to finally be aware of all this and the fact that it needs to stop, but I could really use your help in implementing these changes. Four plus decades of bad behavior is hard to turn around!
In this episode, I help Isabel work through her family dynamic and the constant need to “sweep everything under the rug” which has often led to resentment and many vitriolic eruptions. We discuss some specific things she can do to get ahead of tough conversations with her sisters, how to not get caught up in the emotion, and how to follow through on the boundaries she sets. Be sure to have your pen and paper handy and get ready to swipe Isabel’s homework for your own!
This pod explores:
- Specific verbiage to use when a family member catches you off-guard or if they are yelling and name-calling
- How to approach a difficult conversation with an abrasive and controlling family member
- How to identify both the surface issue and the root issue (aka the real issue) of what you and your family may not see eye to eye about
- My favorite tool to examine what stories you may be making up about your family
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