You get super jelly that your partner gets to have extra time off work, so you say (in a snarky-ass tone), “Wow. Must be nice to have so much free time”. Or maybe a work group you’re a part of is trying to decide how to handle a specific project and instead of voicing your true thoughts you say, “We can certainly do it your way” and mutter under you breath, “And good fucking luck with that.”
What we have here, folks, are two examples of the Passive-Aggressive Communication Style. Everyone’s fav. But, even though we find it infuriating, many of us do it ourselves aaaaaall the time.
If you weren’t properly taught how to advocate for your own wants, needs, and opinions [spoiler: none of us were], it’s likely that you find yourself falling into one of the less-than-effective communication styles. Research has shown that there are four main communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive (#guilty), and assertive. Fifty points if you can figure out which one is most effective. Yup, Assertive.
But, if you’re like most, you probably dip your toes in a bit of the other three. And, you certainly are not alone. In this episode, part two of two, I take a deep dive into the Passive-Aggressive and Assertive communication styles. I cover off what they typically sound like, what their go-to tactics are, what to do if you communicate this way, and what to do if you’re engaging with someone who employs the Passive-Aggressive style. Be sure to have a pen and paper handy as I spell out specific verbiage and phrases you can use… like, yesterday.
This pod explores:
- My absolute favorite tactic in calling someone out (without royally pissing them off) when they are being Passive-Aggressive
- How to untangle your own go-to Passive-Aggressive tendencies and what to say instead
- What to do if your entire family system relies on being Passive-Aggressive to communicate
- My favorite Assertive go-to phrases to use when you need (and want) to be clear, kind, and concise
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- #430: Understanding + Working with the 4 Communication Styles – Part 2
- The Gottman Institute
- Alvernia University Article: 4 Types of Communication Styles
- BetterHelp Article: What To Do When You Recognize Passive Behavior In Yourself Or Others
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